


Coconut

by Xou



Category: Free!
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Haru have lots of gay feelings, I swear this fiction is not serious, Inspired title is inspired, M/M, Momotarou X boom-rang is totally a ship, Nitori is unimpressed, No Homo, Rin breaks the fourth wall, are Rin and Nitori a thing or are they in a threesome with Sou NOBODY WILL KNOW, coconut warnings, this is a fiction about a coconut what do you expect, this is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4965505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xou/pseuds/Xou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- ... Why is there a coconut in the pool.</p><p>(They may never know why, but at least they can wonder)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coconut

It was a normal day for Iwatobi, the sun was up in the sky like a huge yellow globe ready to burn all the humans until their dying days, in other words, perfect time for swimming practice. And on this hot summer day, anyone would come running to be the first one to delicately embrace the sweet contact of water, erotically caressing their skin in an intimate embrace between two bodies moving in perfect harmony and synchronicity, one inside the other, the surface of water and the open body entering it, procreating together to create something beautiful in an act full of love and understanding; Swimming.  
And that’s exactly what Haru was doing, running as soon as the bell signaling the end of the school day had ringed, basically stripping out of his clothes on the way to the pool to be the first one to be able to enter the water body and share this moment with just him and the vast blue liquid, slipping in and out of it, entering and emerging, fusing and connecting to it in the most intimate way before the other member of his time arrived to join the fun as friends (with some benefits of course. Hey, they had a pool all to themselves, that’s what I call benefits!!).  
So, as soon as the black haired young man arrived to their usual training place, he was already stripped down to his swim suit and ready to enter the water to finally feel and touch its sweet embrace on his skins when he noticed something unusual.  
There was a coconut floating in the water of the pool.

 

… Well, that was certainly a sight he never saw before.

It was definitely a little strange, because usually it was more leafs or bugs that floated in the outside pool and not a complete fruit (… Nut?), just chilling there, in the pool as if nothing was strange at all with its presence in the water.  
(Haru could also feel a little pull at his heart realizing that it was the fruit that first had the chance to touch the comforting cuddle of the water for that day. Water-chan, you betrayed him, you cheating little pool! )  
And yes, Haru was a bit surprised by the fruit that had appeared like that and really he should not judge those things (after all, he had a friend that have for dreams to swim in a pool of cherry blossom and honestly, _you can’t make something more gay and girly than that_ ), but the sight of the fruit (… Is a coconut a fruit or a nut God damn it?!?) was enough to shake him a little and make him stop and stare for just a moment, trying to understand why there was the... Thing in **their** pool.

\- Jeez, Haru, I already asked not to run like this after class ends! You should keep your clothes on while you run and… Wait, why aren’t you in the water?

It was Makoto that had just arrived, as usual carrying with him in typical mamakoto fashion the clothes Haru had left while he was too busy dreaming about the water seductive embrace and removing all of them in running to be ready for the intimate act of swimming. The brown haired boy had also stopped in front of the pool and was looking at his friend with an honest disbelief in his eyes. Haru would usually never wait until jumping in and feeling the sweet release of the water contact on his skin, having wait all this time for this intimate moment shared between him and the water, but here he was, just standing and looking at the pool like a wolf that had lost part of his territory to a sheep. The situation went along with this rather weird comparison. It was surprising, unbelievable and Haru was _pissed_.

  
-… There’s a coconut in the water.  
\- Oh, indeed, there is!  
\- Makoto, let me repeat that. There’s a coconut in the pool.  
\- Yes, I see Haru-Chan, I am not blind, there is… WHAT?? WHY IS THERE A COCONUT IN THE POOL?  
\- Like I would know…

  
Haru continued to look at the fruit-nut thing, with a deep frown on his face. Well, you could always say that this expression was not really different that the normal frown he wore on his face every day, but there was a change in the air. The situation was different. This was a clear intrusion of an undesired object in THEIR pool and he did like it. The fact that he didn’t have any idea why the coconut was in there or how it even got here was not helping! Was it clean? Had it dirtied his precious water with his evil presence? What if now, every time he would try to get in the pool, he could only see behind his eyelids the image of this fruit innocently floating in the water, like it didn’t know what betrayal it was doing?! But no!! The fruit was guilty! It was pure evil and probably knew what he was doing what it was doing when it ended up here in all place, just when Haru was so ready to jump in the water and savors his embrace. No, no, the fruit knew what he was doing and he could probably guilt it and could obtain justice for the water that was wronged, entered without permission, wronged and invaded without consent!  
Maybe with a little luck, the coconut could find a lawyer. An avocado would do. French puns do not work in English.

Anyway, while Haru was silently fuming, Makoto was still blinking and looking at the fruit peacefully drifting on the soft waves of the out-door poor. The brown haired male finally opened his mouth to acquire:

\- So… What should we do with the coconut?  
\- I don’t know and I don’t want to know.  
\- … Should we get it out of the water?  
\- Yes.  
\- … So, why didn’t you do it Haru?  
\- I don’t want to touch this piece of shit.  
\- It’s a coconut, not poop! If it was poop, we would be in more trouble than this! You remember the incident!  
\- We don’t talk about the incident.  
\- Still!! You could have done it!  
\- It’s dirty presence is watching me Makoto. It is mocking me. I’m not coming close to this monstrosity.  
\- IT’S A COCONUT!! JUST DO IT HARU!  
\- I don’t want to.  
\- DO IT. JUST DO IT!!  
\- Why don’t you do it Makoto?

  
His question seemed to have it something in the other male. The captain were avoiding his best friend eyes, looking at the cement floor of the side of the pool, a slight reddish hue on his cheeks. He nervously played with his hands while he answered seeming embarrassed:

\- I have a nut allergy, you know it…  
\- Coconuts are not nuts.  
\- Well, what are they then? What the hell is a coconut? WHY ARE THEY CALLED LIKE THIS IF THEY ARE NUTS HARU? Coconut. It says so in the name. I can’t do it, so you do it!  
\- Well I don’t want to do it, so you do it.  
\- That’s not a reason!!  
\- Your reason either is not good, you don’t even know what a coconut is.  
\- WELL DO YOU??  
\- Why are you avoiding the question Makoto. Why don’t you do it?

  
Again, another silence answered him. Makoto was still looking at his feet, avoiding the other eyes. What was he hiding under this ashamed look? Did he… Did he have something to do with the presence of the coconut in the water? Has his best friend betrayed him like this? No, no, it could not be possible, he could not believe this! He and Makoto were close! Really close, like sometimes people mistake them as a married couple even if they were both guys and both in high school (no homo right). The brown haired man would have never dared to do anything like this… Or would he? What could be the reasons between the presence of the fruit in the pool and Makoto avoiding his eyes, hiding away from him?  
The coconut continued to ruin his life since it first appeared before him this afternoon. First it had taken his pool, now it had stolen his husband.

N-Not that Makoto and he loved each other this way!! Damn it, it was all the fault of the coconut!

  
\- Well, well what is happening here? Did you two lover had a fight?

Both Haru and Makoto jumped hearing the sound of the familiar voice. The black-haired man was so caught in his thinking that he didn’t even notice another person approaching them. Rin was standing in front of them, his wild red hair in a ponytail, his hands on his hips and a smirk on his tin lips. His sharkish teeth were glistening in the light of the afternoon sun glow. He was standing there in front of them as if he owned this place, even if he didn’t belong to this swim club or didn’t even go to this school. Before Haru could say anything on that matter, Makoto was the first one to open his mouth:

\- Rin? What are you doing here?  
\- Oh, well, merchandise always seems to think I hang out all the time with you guys, so here I am.  
\- What??  
\- Oh, just breaking the fourth wall. Anyway, what is happening here?  
\- There’s a coconut in the pool.

Haru had answered the question with his usual poker face. He didn’t appreciate Rin coming to their pool, as if he belonged here and especially after something like this just happened. Did the red hair have something with the presence of the fruit in their pool? Could he have done something so horrible and just… What would be the reasons? But no, that didn’t make any sense, but still the presence of Rin was suspicious and he could not help to wonder…

\- So? What are you going to do? Just let it here?

  
Rin as once again opened his mouth to ask, his shark teeth still shining in the sun light. The pointy teeth were unsettling. Haru never knew why his friend teeth were so sharp, but it was dangerous and just a bit trilling at the same time. But no he would never dare to come close to those teeth they were dangerous and probably ready to attack anything that came near them. And most of all, the pointy teeth were not the white round one, hiding behind delicate chapped pink lips of a certain tan and brown haired friend of his.

Oups, here it goes, his thoughts ended somewhere they should not be. Just control your gay Haru.

  
Anyway he had to answer to Rin question:  
\- No. This coconut can’t stay in the pool.  
\- Then, why is it still here?  
\- Makoto can’t get it out and I don’t want to.  
\- That is not an excuse.  
\- It is.  
\- No it is not.  
\- Yes it is.  
\- No.  
\- Yes.  
\- Haru, can you stop being a little shit, this is not an excuse.  
\- RIN, LANGUAGE!!

  
Finally, Makoto seemed to get out of the paralysis and embarrassed state he was into reprimand the red hair with still a hard blush on his tanned cheeks. He was adorable… Well, in a totally friendly way of course. No homo. Anyway as his boyfriend, urh, no, just friend, boy that happens to be a friend, right, as Makoto reprimanded Rin for his language, Haru looked at the coconut silently floating in the pool, unaware of the argument happening. But it just seemed… To listen to them. It was creepy and he did not like the shivers he felt in his backbone when he looked at the fruit. Yeah he had given up trying to figure out if a coconut was a nut or a fruit and just called it a fruit now even if he still was not entirely certain.

Who cares about coconut anyway?

  
\- Ah Rin-sempai! We find you finally!!

  
Once again, Haru was lost in his thoughts and practically missed the little thing bolting running for the red-hair (Despite Rin round eyes looking at the figure approaching them and Makoto shouting that it was dangerous to run next to a pool, that he could slips at any moment and DIE). Nitori Aiichiro was running toward them and basically jumped to envelop the still blinking and confused red-haired man in a tight hug. Rin opened and closed his mouth, not really what was happening here either seemingly:

\- Duckling? What- What are you doing here?  
\- I should ask you the same thing! Why are you always hanging up here, I know that they are your friends, but you’re not in their swim team and you’re not even at their school!!  
\- I told you before! It is to break the fourth wall!  
\- Who cares about the fourth wall! You’re coming back to our team practice!

  
While he looked at the little thing and the big red-haired block argue, Haru stole a look to Makoto that was also watching them with interest. Has if he felt his regard on him, the brown haired man slowly turned to give Haru a blinding smile. He just felt a bit of a blush on his cheeks and had to look away as if he had looked at the sun itself in the face. And maybe he did in some way. Makoto was his light, blinding, but always illuminating all aspects of his life and bringing this strange glow in his heart.

(... Still no homo right?)

Anyway as he observed Rin and Nitori slowly escape from their swimming pool, seeing the little male still hanging at the red-haired male and casually arguing and disputing together (something about that if Rin just disappeared, Momotarou could never ever ask him for his blessing to date his sister, but anyway this was not going to happen and Momo should just marry his boom-rang already and be done with this) , as he observed to two of them interact, Haru could only feels sort of a burning feeling in his chest. He didn’t exactly know what Rin and Nitori were for each other (plus the presence of Sousuke just made the whole affair seems so much more complicate), but whatever it was, he felt like he needed that. Craved that. He wanted it so bad, with someone by his side to be there with him and share pity argument and strange look full of connection, like a galaxies forming in their eyes. A star-eyed connection. Full of small giant, shouting star and void of gravity and any can of sense. Why keep your feet on the ground when you can have your head in the clouds.

(But, not really, his feet were in water. Everything was water)

  
Anyway. Haru wanted that. Preferably with a certain brown haired male by his sides.  
He wanted that (all of that, everything or nothing) with Makoto by his side.

  
… Well, this just got a lot more gay, isn’t it?

  
\- Heeeey guys! We just met Rin and his boy toy on our way to the pool, what were they doing here?  
\- Ah Nagisa! Rei!  
\- Ooooooh, Mako-Chan, Haru-Chan! Wait, why isn’t Haru-Chan in the water?

  
Haru turned to see his younger blonde friend arriving so excitably to them, with as usual the ever so stoic Rei now reprimanding Nagisa that he should not use term like boy-toy, even if the blonde keep insisting that it was perfectly fine, because _that’s what you are to me, aren’t you Rei-Chan?_  
Ew. God damnit Nagisa.

Anyway, as he saw the two of them approach, Haru felt a little more self-conscious of the fact that a moment before he was basically wearing his heart on his sleeves and thinking things he should not be thinking and feeling things he should not be feeling. As the blond was basically jumping up and down excitably as the bespectacled other man tried to calm him, Haru stole another look in Makoto direction, who was also watching him, with an amused smile on his lips.  
He was adorable.

But of course Nagisa had to break the perfect little moment.

  
\- Ah! My coconut is still here!!

Automatically, Haru re-directed his regard to the blond in the deepest meanest glare he could do. Of course… He should have known. When trouble happened, Nagisa was always at fault. Coconut in the pool? Well, Nagisa of course! Mackerel disappearing from his lunch? Nagisa! Global warming? Well, Nagisa’s fault, no doubt!!

(He would answer to that, that of course it was his fault, because he was just too hot for this world. Rei would then hit him gently behind the hand and start in a scientific explanation no one would listen to or no one would care about. Poor Rei really. Even water didn’t like him and didn’t care. Haru would almost be sad if he actually gave a shit too)

Anyway, let’s not talk about Rei sad life. Of course, Nagisa was at fault with the coconut incident, but Haru had to demand an answer to the most fundamental question:

\- Why would you put a coconut in the pool?  
\- Well of course Haru-Chan! Because I could not find a watermelon! Oh, do you think watermelon float by the way? Rei-Chan, do you know???

  
While Rei started in an explanation that why some fruits float and other not, Haru turned once again to Makoto. He was also watching him, a soft pink glow to his checks, but he at least seemed more comfortable than before as he said:  
\- Well, at least now we know why there’s a coconut in the pool…  
\- Yes.  
\- Well, we still have to get it out of the water though...  
\- It’s Nagisa fault, let him do it.  
\- Yeah you right, he should learn not to do this kind of things, ha ha…  
\- … Makoto?  
\- Yes Haru?  
\- Why don’t you wanna touch the god damn coconut?

A nervous laugh erupted after that, before the brown haired man answered, lightly scratching on of his blushing cheeks:

\- Coconuts are a weird kind of fruits… I mean, they are full of white sticky stuff…

 

 

 

…

This boy was going to be the end of him.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for this.  
> Enjoy your weird present Nick. I hope you liked it.


End file.
